Isobel's Voice

My name is Isobel. I am 62 years old. I had an abortion 40 years ago, before I was married. The foetus was 10 weeks old. It was not a decision I took lightly but taking various issues into account abortion seemed to be the best option at the time. However, I was totally unprepared for the strong feelings of loss, grief and guilt that I felt afterwards. I received no counselling, or follow-up care.
 
I tried to put the experience to the back of my mind and got on with life. Several years later, after marrying and having two further children I had a dream, or should I say a vision.
 
I was back in the hospital where I had had the abortion and was just coming round from the anaesthetic. When I opened my eyes I was blinded by a very strong white light and I was conscious of a man standing by my bed. I just knew it was Jesus. He held his cupped hands out to me. They were big, rough and calloused hands. A carpenter’s hands. Nestling in his palms was a tiny baby, about 1½ inches long - my baby. Jesus spoke to me. He said, “It’s alright Isobel. I’ve got her.” That’s how I know the baby was a girl. I gave her a name and a birthday.
 
That’s when the healing process started. Every year on her birthday I visit the memorial to the unborn in the churchyard of Saint John’s Roman Catholic church in Melton Mowbray and I say a prayer thanking God for my lovely family, including my first child, my precious special little girl. The one I never met.